Freese

This Makes Perfect Sense: 50 Stamps Edition

Neil — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:02:15 +0000

My Boss Created a Photo Shrine to the Young MJ on His Office Door

Neil — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:41:40 +0000

Poetry Slam

Neil — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:39:38 +0000

Suck my balls,
Kittenhawk.
I hope your hawk massacres
Your kitten.
And then vomits it,
And then eats it again.
I hope your hawk’s insides
Turn into robot dust.
And, poop out
Retarded children for the rest
Of eternity.

-Anonymous

Little Bibi.
Lover of life,
Scratcher of pole,
He likes his wet food wet.

-Perry Schanley

Breaking News: New Cat Spotted in Neighborhood

Neil — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 02:25:26 +0000

What’s On the Sidewalk Outside My Office?

Neil — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:35:57 +0000

Fart Bomb + Neil + Liquor = Recipe for Laughter/Disaster Casserole

Neil — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:43:11 +0000

I wish Katie had explained the concept to me before I drank all that bourbon.

iToster

Neil — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:11:28 +0000

Plate: ITOSTER
Frame: Back Off or Your Toast

This is either the best vanity license plate/ license plate frame combo ever, or the worst, depending on how you feel about toast. I, for one, love toast. Love it. However, as an editor, I’m appalled by 1) the misuse of “your” instead of “you’re” and 2) the inconsistency between the spelling of “toast” in the license plate frame and “tost” on the license plate.

Your thoughts?

Slam Dunk

Neil — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 05:32:09 +0000

My friends James and Katie are subletting their apartment while they head out of the country on their honeymoon. Today they received this email from Rose Catherine.

Thanks so much for your prompt response…..This is a little about me.I am into Gas and Energy resources.I will be ready to move in by July 29th …I am single and love my work…I am very happy for your reply that shows the kind of person i am renting from….I’m really glad to have details about the room…its just great..its what i am looking for…you are God sent and the price is just perfect for me…i am an easy going lady and surely u will enjoy my stay in the states…i really want to promise u that we ll surely have the best of time..Here’s is just more about me…My name as you know…….Rose Catherine

Hair: Black
Eyes: Brown
Age: 28yrs old
Height: 5′ 6″ (167cm)
Weight: 122 pounds (55.0 kg)
Body: Average
Activity Level: Active
Smoking: No
Drinking: No
Marital Status: Single
Children: I have no kids
Zodiac Sign: Picses
Languages I speak: English
Religion: Christian

My favorite cuisines: Barbecue, Chinese/Dim Sum, Deli Eastern-European, Fast Food/Pizza, French, Greek, Indian, Italian, Japanese/Sushi, Mexican, Seafood,Soul Food, Thai, Vietnamese My favorite music: Dance/Electronics, Disco, Easy Listening, Pop/Top 40, Rap/Hip Hop, Soul/R&B and Soundtracks. My favorite physical activities: Basketball, Working Out, Dancing, Swimming and Hiking/Walking.

Well, Now am moving in by July 29th.

This Makes Perfect Sense

Neil — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 21:23:04 +0000

No.

Neil — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 03:02:19 +0000

I’m at the ATM, and a teenager–well-groomed and well-dressed–approaches me and asks, “Hey, man, can you spare $20.”